Britt On The Go

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CHAPTER 1 It was rumored the city's third TV channel ZEE-TV was on its last legs. There had been rumors before when FOX cut its ties with the station but it then received a limited news and program service from a New York-based agency and it struggled on with up to 20% of the city's peak time viewers but that figure had begun to ebb.

Many viewers liked viewing programs largely uninterrupted by ads, because not many advertisers placed ads with the station, and its saved money by playing B-grade movies that turned out included many cult movies that were all the rage thirty of so years ago. And so cults were remembered and the young folk laughed themselves near senseless at such titles as 'Bozo Goes to Paris' and 'Giant Sewer Rats Threaten New York'.

At 6:25 viewers watched to see Mandy Wade's daughter read the weather for the first time. The previous night Mandy, a former State Beauty Queen and wife of the station's owner Slim Wade, a former star quarter-back, had read the weather for the last time and introduced Britt Wade who had been working in Europe for four years after graduating with a master's in broadcasting communications.

Britt read the weather report. 'Now with that crap out the way – they could have easily kept it simple and said 'More of the same' but never mind. I'd like to know if there's anyone out there who could mail me a recipe for raspberry jam? I've just arrived home after several years to a calamity: mom has lost her recipe for my favorite jam.

Sorry my dress is so short but French men went crazy about my legs and that's left me with an inflated ego and an over supply of short dresses. Good night everyone and thanks for being so loyal to mom reading the weather all these years. ' Slim Wade switched off the set and said to his wife, 'Britt articulates well and her timing is great.

' 'Yes, we have been rehearsing. ' 'What's this about raspberry jam Mandy? You only know how to heat prepared food. ' 'Search me? It's a gimmick she has some up with. She's attempting to develop affinity with viewers.

I doubt she can keep it up. ' 'Well displaying legs like that she is unlikely to shed our viewers,' Slim grinned. 'I haven't seen much of your legs lately. ' 'Oooh,' said Mandy.

Next evening Britt read the forecast standing in the middle of the studio floor while four men emptied sacks of mail around her feet. She finished with the weather and said, 'Oh you good people. Today I received these 2447 letters you can see around my legs, plus almost 300 courier deliveries of pots of raspberry jam with recipes enclosed plus almost 5000 emails.

Well it's going to take me weeks sorting out this response and our family now has 288 pots of jam left so PLEASE, no more. Tomorrow night my chat will be about my bra choice. ' The next evening the ads after the news and before the weather including two from suppliers of raspberry jam and a supermarket announcing it stocked eight brands of raspberry jam.

Britt read the weather dressed in a short white leather skirt and a pink bra. 'Tonight my question is about bras. I could ask mom but she's too busy sorting out raspberry jam recipes. Tomorrow night's question concerns shaving.

' The Banrock Daily News next morning ran a page 3 photo of Mandy Wade with glasses on reading recipes with 287 (one more had been consumed) jars of jam and below that was a photo of Britt, very posed, scratching her head and holding out several types of bras, she was wearing a coconut bra. . . .